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DAY 37

Today was a lively day. I always check my business email when I travel to work and there were a bunch for this blog, which was quite a surprise. So far we have gained backing and been shared by SAMH (Scottish Association for Mental Health), Bipolar Scotland and Bipolar UK (Youth). In the next few months, printed entries of my blog could be available in magazines from SAMH and Bipolar Scotland. Locally, this blog has been eaten up - which I am glad. In my country (Scotland), many people aren't aware of the means of help, e.g. Charities. It's nice to raise awareness of where to go and how to get help if needed.

Tomorrow because of the blog I will be doing an interview, it shouldn't be too tense although I am nervous. I'll let you know what happens with it and where you can see it when the information is available.

Why am I letting you know all these things? Because this isn't my blog, it's ours. It's worth noting any interaction it has, I want to be fully transparent with you!

So how was day 37? I guess it was exciting but nerve wracking with all the developments of this. Accomplishing something is great but there's definitely something terrifying about success. In theory, things sounds great and you would totally be up for any opportunity - but then when that happens it almost stuns you. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, but the change we are creating is phenomenal.

When you are productive - you create such good energy, it's like doing something is liberating. Isn't it funny how we have all these bones and little nerves, and we are these awesome beings? When I feel sad I just think about how lucky I am to be alive. All these bones, muscles, nerves are wanting me to go on. It sounds almost bashful with the way I am speaking, but aren't we remarkable creatures? It definitely encourages you to take care of yourself. There are so many people who self-harm now, I get it.

Self-harm is the highest form of attention seeking to those who have no understanding of mental illness. To me, it felt good to inflict a physical pain to echo my mental. If you are struggling with self-harm issues let me just say this: you are someones son or daughter. I'm not accusing you of being selfish, but if you take yourself out of your personal situation there you can understand a little better. You were born a remarkable being with ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers. There was a time where you were so vulnerable your guardian held you and guided you. Cared for your beautiful tiny little body. When you got old enough, you had to care for yourself. Remember you were that tiny baby at one point, your body was a baby. Treat your body like a baby because it's vulnerable, you are so beautiful and fragile and if you could just think about your physical being not as an extended trait of yourself but it's own being - it'll open your eyes. Do you know how hard your body works just to breathe? That's remarkable, everything in your entity is wanting to survive.

I want to hear more from you all, I love talking with you and listening to your stories.
I hope you're okay, if you need some help at all do just contact me or see the links on the right.

If you are requiring immediate help and are worried you are going to seriously harm yourself or you're contemplating suicide, please attend your local A+E.

'Til tomorrow!

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