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DAY 58

Tonight my Bipolar Disorder story ran on STV, and I loved it. Granted there was a two second clip of a pan in under my chin, making it look like I was porky - but I'm glad with the way the information was told and how it was edited down. I'm very happy with the way it turned out for one important thing: It wasn't about 'Aymie Black', it was about a young girl having an illness (which is a rarity at this age) and how she became a mental health advocate. It was longer than I expected and then there was a long question and answer with a lovely woman from Bipolar Scotland. It was quite in-depth, main points were there and I really hoped it helped others out there.

I worried most that it would look attention seeking. Too many people out there desperately talk about themselves without any point to make but pass it off as helping a cause, to look good I guess. I wanted to be as selfless as possible, make it all about others and how people could have the same symptoms as me. This wasn't about twitter famous Aymie Black hahaha. The end of the piece with the interview with Bipolar Scotland live on tv was absolutely fantastic. I'm so glad the piece centred around my blog's community, symptoms in young people and where to go to find accurate help. This wasn't like me telling a huge story and a 'P.S. Bipolar Scotland is here' and saying the purpose was the charity, this felt really honest and helpful for others - not just story time with my life. (We all know story time of my life is a brilliant time though, I've been homeless, bullied, nearly died ;) You get the picture). It was refreshing to see this all come together and for me to feel like I actually helped out!

They mentioned my Eating Disorder at 14 and although I'm usually quite private because I'm over it - I like that they had shown that symptoms of my behaviour could be what had led me to a Bipolar Diagnosis. It was very relevant, it wasn't like a shock factor/entertainment factor thing.

I could've took selfies and things of me filming for TV and uploaded it and been like 'I'm on TV', but I guess I wanted this situation to remain pure and purely about this horrible illness and where to get help. I'm glad with how sensitive it was and how nice the balance was, mostly because I didn't come across as self-obsessed and everything said was productive. I'm very happy with it.

I filmed three weeks ago now and it had just aired, as you can see I am happy with it. It's nice to know my interview was productive and not just a pity piece, I do indeed have an ongoing illness and so it's all very relevant and will stay relevant everyday. Like I said with the eating disorder, I don't mind talking about it if it helps but for me - it was an illness I overcame. Hence why I won't be gabbing to the media everyday about it, because I've moved on. It's happened, it's done and now I can live from that.

Bipolar Disorder is lifelong and I heard last night on the interview it was rare to be diagnosed so young, and like I've always said - I am very lucky to have been diagnosed young before I had a wrecked marriage, lost my house and went to alcohol and drugs. So I will keep talking about it - but only for others benefit. You won't have to put up with it being the only thing I say or feel uncomfortable about it. Mental Health has a massive stigma that is only cured when you talk about it, so I'll make sure my every word is relevant. When day 100 of this blog comes, I'm not sure what will happen but I will never be ashamed of my disability. It's life long and something I couldn't have helped, I won't be Bipolar Aymie - I'll still be Awesome Aymie, but a girl who isn't afraid to admit her daily struggle.

I'm glad this has helped people, I will do as much as I can for this blog and for this illness and I hope to take much more of an active role as advocate in my country. I feel as a young person we have minimal representation, so maybe it's time someone represented.

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