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DAY 64

Ages 11-19, I've included some "personal" pics throughout

I dodge my personal life online a lot, don’t I? The idea of putting things out there just terrifies me and people don’t know much about me at all if they see me online. I study fashion, blog my bipolar and have blonde hair. You know what my opinions are and you know what I like, but you don’t know me. Because I’ve made this blog so oddly closed (regarding personal life) and yet so open in other respects, I thought I’d open what has essentially been a closed book for a few years on some things that you didn’t know before. I’m honestly so nervous to begin this, but here goes. I've also added "Never-Before-Seen!" pictures, AKA photos I haven't posted online (because they are personal!).

Tomfoolery at uni
My real name is Aimée-Michelle Black, born to a Scottish father Ian and a Scotch-Irish mother Isobel in the town of Greenock in 1995. I lived there for 15 years, we were attacked by someone and moved out – my parents divorced and I lived with my dad in North Ayrshire. So I attended a different high school for my senior years. I live at home to help look after my disabled father so I always have a lot on my plate.
With Flower the bunny
I have 7 siblings, they are all half siblings and significantly older than myself so I basically grew up alone and so I loved the company of animals. I’ve had 10 hamsters, several fish, a parrot, a cockatiel, a rabbit named Alfie who died June 2014, a Labrador named Sandy who died in February 2015 and now I have a dutch bunny named Flower and my dad has a beagle puppy named Daisy.

I’m in a relationship with a guy named Kyle, he’s 23 and we’ve been together over two years. My past relationships were also quite long, lasting several years each. I’ve almost always been in a relationship since 13 years old.

At George Square in 2014, just before the Bin Lorry crash

I am a straight, white female and I stand at 5ft10inches. When I was younger I had modelling portfolios created, but I freaked out and pulled the plug. I also was on a show circuit, singing at various places from talent shows to karaoke competitions until I got stage fright. I was in all the highest classes at school and I was very academic. People made fun of me for having a ‘posh’ accent and speaking too well for someone who had come from the East end of Greenock.

My first job was working in a sewing and alterations place. I wanted to be a fashion designer since I was 10, I’m now going into my third year at Glasgow School of Art on the Fashion Design course – where I gained a place on a course of 7 out of more than 500 applicants. If I couldn’t do Fashion, I would be a writer. I've also worked in Fashion and more humorously - as a barmaid! Man it's tough working in a bar at 18 when you don't drink!
Nope thats not a cocktail, it's a cranberry juice
I’m lucky to have a lot of friends but my closest would be:
My best friend Dristée, a Nepalese brainiac studying law in London. She always supports me and puts things into perspective, we’ve been best friends since 13 from school and we maintain a long distance friendship but things never change.
My best friend Tapiwa, a Malawi girl studying to be a nurse and she’s been my confidante since 16. She is wonderfully Christian and although we don’t agree on so many topics, we agree on kindness and love which makes our friendship very powerful.
My best friend Ross is a talented Glaswegian studying to be a Product Designer. He has an incredible sense of humour and he calls everyone ‘darling’ except me, so that basically sums up the bond we have.
My best friend Marie, a beautiful kind-hearted ‘do gooder’, who is studying to be a Textile Designer. She is very talented when it comes to knitting but what she does for charity is potentially more impressive. You could not meet more of a selfless person and she is definitely great when it comes to perspective on issues – she always keeps me right.

My diet is Pollo-Pescetarian, I’m ambidextrous and I’m good at ‘photographic’ painting. I’m very diet and exercise driven and it’s a way I keep control of my mental illness.
We got lost in a creepy building at night
I’ve never broken any bones, however at the moment I have a sprained knee. Medically I have various illnesses, although I wouldn’t say all of them were serious. The doctors have to watch out because when I was younger I sprained my hip, incase of deterioration. I’ve had a growth disorder, menorrhagia, anorexia nervosa and complications involving my womb and my ovaries. My ovaries need checked for cancerous tumours. When I was a baby my mum was convinced I had a ‘squint’ eye, when really it’s because I have wide-epicanthic folds. I currently have anxiety disorder (which varies in severity, now being okay), a sleep disorder, prodromal Schizophrenia, alopecia, eczema, potential PD and of course, Bipolar Disorder. I’m very prone to the flu, I have a weak system where I can’t give blood and I couldn’t go full vegetarian on Doctors advice.

I’m an atheist but I would say anonymous Christian too. I support the Scottish Nationalist Party in a bid to end austerity. I voted yes in the Scottish independence referendum to better my country, however I do like being British.

When you meet me, I’ll act very shy and I’ll try to avoid situations. Once you get to know me you’ll see I’m very loud, comedic and flamboyant. I’m confident in company I like other times I can be very avoiding – it honestly depends on the day. I am of course obsessed with fashion and styling. I dyed my hair blonde so people wouldn’t recognize me when I travelled home to Greenock.

I’ve worked for and supported various charities inclusive of The BFP, PETA, SSPCA, Bipolar Scotland, Bipolar UK, SAMH, Cybersmile and MIND. I only support charities that do not test on animals, I am an animal activist and so keeping up with that takes up a great deal of my time.

My favourite movie is Les Miserables, my favourite singer is Florence Welch and my favourite band is The Killers. I’m a massive comic book fan and I favour Marvel particularly. I don't have any tattoos because I love my natural 'clean' look - if I did I'd get one gelatine free tattoo that's VERY small. I'm an artist, but I'd hate to have doodles all over my body however my boyfriends tats look FAB. I have my ears pierced and a Helix piercing on the top of my right ear. I have a birthmark on my right wrist that looks like an 8-bit man. I can speak conversational French and I'm learning Italian.

With Tapiwa
I did gymnastics, badminton, ballet, tap-dance, highland dancing, Irish dancing, Scottish dancing, cheerleading for my local team, belly dancing and majorette. I was really into drama at my school and I loved acting, I remember I actually played a bipolar person in a play… how fitting!

I once hid from a guy to miss a date, in Holland and Barrett. In Primary School I needed to pee really bad and ran to the bathroom, knocked a little girl down, she cried and I stood and pissed myself. A pair of my underwear managed to get into the hall at a swimming pool and the lifeguard held them up to be claimed and I walked to get them, with the whole pool of people laughing at me. I was babysitting my toddler niece and she hid under blankets and I thought I had lost her and had a full blown breakdown. When I’m ready to have a panic attack I always say something ridiculous to get out of the room, with my best being: “I need to sneeze”.

I picked three questions from a Q+A on twitter on things people wanted to know and I answered! I answered a lot of the proposed questions up above.

When did you first get depressed?
I wasn’t aware at the time, but possibly when I was 13 and feeling the repercussions of my eating disorder.

What is alopecia like?
I’m very lucky to have a mild form, but I will admit I’m terrified of it’s potential. I know a few people who do have very severe alopecia and spend most of their life bald. I don’t have Alopecia Totalis fortunately, mines varies from thinning to bald patches that are itchy. It means that my hair grows in very unevenly so I need to do a lot of… “layering”. When I was younger that’s when most of my hair fell out and I had big bald patches and my whole head thinned (It was awful) and I had to get it all cut off and I looked like a chicken. I don’t have any photos but you can see a slight pic in the collage up top, the tiny bits of hair? Yep – that was my whole head of hair!

I don’t suppose you’ve ever been on Diazepam?
Nope I have not – my anti-depressants were Citalopram and I moved to Mirtazapine. I got horrible side-effects with citalopram, which I was prescribed mostly for my anxiety attacks. Mirtazapine was a brief experience to see how I engaged with the medication. I was on citalopram for around 5 months.

This Photo was too good not to post
This post was different from usual, and it won’t stay like this – I just felt I had to let you really know about me. You may have heard some things before, but I wanted to be open just one time and stop coming across as really sneaky. I don’t post my daily life or even going out with friends or things like that, because I guess I don’t want to be that person. I am a shy person until I’m good friends with someone and I’m anything but an exhibitionist. I rarely upload personal photos of me with someone, and I’m never gonna be like ‘Me and my boyfriend did this and that and this and that then we did this really dirty thing and I’m telling you’, because it’s not me! But I thought I’d give you guys a one off, real deal ‘Girl behind the blog’ moment.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend and I hope you’ve not hated this post too much.