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DAY 54

Today I've not taken my anti-psychotic and I can't say I notice any difference, my eyesight still seems foggy and hallucinations are no worse. I've had a long day with a lot of exercise involved and with the heat today and the sun - I feel exhausted! I guess I'm the kind of person who gets tired easy, but I'm still restless and I find it so difficult to sleep. If I got a more regular sleeping pattern I'd be so much better off!

I got my date for my tv feature today and I'll let you know more about that at the time. It's about raising awareness of Bipolar Disorder in young people and a bit about what our blog has been doing for our community. I take a lot of pride in what we have achieved here and how many lives we've positively affected.

I feel a little consumed recently and I guess I realise how many things I have left to do before my summer ends. I'm worried I won't get it all done, I really need to focus on my sketchbook for university and make sure that looks good. I'd post a photo on here but I don't like the blog being too 'about Aymie', I like giving my experiences so you can compare or think about it. I'm not wild about attention, hence why I was so hesitant with working with media, but I did it for the benefit of our little blog community.

I feel tonight I don't have much to write, I feel mentally busy but physically exhausted. I feel like there's a thousand things to do and no time to do it. I don't think that's my illness, I think that's just me.

Oh and random thought, but does anyone else absolutely adore stationary? I'm such a stationary queen at the moment and I thought I'd ask - HMU on twitter if you are.

So note for self: Tomorrow I have to exercise, paint and completely clear through my closet. Not too much! I can tell that the closet will take absolute hours.

It's important to make little routines and lists for yourself when you're looking after your mental wellbeing, I find it very helpful as it brings some organisation to my chaotic mind. It's nice to organise my thoughts and keep everything as calm as possible, particularly through a stormy period. Mental Illness is all down to management and I'm getting pretty good at that! The only things I struggle with is probably sleeping and alone time. I don't get much alone time because of the puppy and when I have free time - I spend it with the puppy or with someone else. Sleeping is difficult for me, I've consistently been waking up at night these past few days, I've had a little breathing difficulty though.

I hope you are all alive and kicking, feeling well and doing great!
Have a fabulous Thursday evening!

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