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DAY 13: Clarity

Last night I reached a stage where I started getting really upset about everything that was happening, so I chose to close all my social media down. I still think I’m handling it quite well but so I don’t get the full blow of the ridiculous publicity – I now only use Instagram and I have someone run my twitter account for me for work.

It’s such a weird sensation, in one way it’s completely cleansing but in another way it makes you feel a little lonelier because 95% of my messaging platforms are gone so I’m not communicating with people as much. However I’m having more phonecalls and I’ve met some friends face to face today, so I guess being traditional with how I interact with people is much more beneficial for my life.

I’m not saying I won’t return to social media, because I know when term time comes around I’ll need to – but I’m definitely taking a break. So I’ve instructed my friends to keep me in the loop with all the news, particularly football rumours about the team I support (since I get so heavily wrapped up in that). I’ve been feeling good today but everything does seem a bit quieter, I had an incredible dinner and some laughs – so I guess I’ll call today a good day.

I’m very cautious with myself at the moment because my sleep schedule is still completely knackered; I’m considering trying Zopiclone again. I know sleeping tablets didn’t work when I was in mania, but they might work when my mood is still normal – give or take a little up or down, but nothing too abstract.

Now that I have the distraction of social media away, I’ve been focusing myself a lot more on my work and my degree project which is an amazing way to just keep my mind off things, particularly those recently with an intrusive nature.

I think for me, I’m finding balance in my life. I’m trying to live a much more clean life, enriched with experiences and maybe quitting the draining forms of social media like Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat – is the way forward! Maybe some of you should try it with me! It’s nice not to feel so bogged down with it.

On an ending note, I want to say – thank you for all the supportive comments and the messages I receive. I am listening to you all, however, I want to state something important – I write a mental health blog but I am in no way a mental health professional. I didn’t ever mind having conversations with others about mental health or listening to your stories, or even giving you advice from my personal experience e.g. with medications. However, I am not a counsellor and I am not trained. Lately, I have been inundated with people asking me what I think their diagnosis is – I am not a doctor and I would never try and diagnose you. I also have people emailing my business account with really personal stories and I’ve received really concerning messages from some of you. You know I’ll try to help as much as I can, but I recommend seeking professional advice. If you are having great issues, please consider talking to ‘Samaritans’. They will offer you a better service than I ever could.

It’s also a very heavy weight on my shoulders, hence why I’ve restricted my communications. You know I love speaking with you and giving you my personal experiences, but there are so many conversations I’m just not qualified to have.

Here’s the link to Samaritans:

I’ve had such a positive experience with them and I hope you know that these people are here to talk about anything, whenever. You’re not alone, if I could give you all my time I would but I’m only one girl.